The Future

Dear blog,

I hate not knowing what comes next. I hate it. I am afraid of what the future might bring….I mean if it brings me to the good side of life..then Alhamdulilah but what if it doesn’t?

What if I hate my job? What if I’m 30 years old and still unmarried? What if I have lost all my hopes and dreams for my future? What if I have no money and that I have to rely on my parents (and maybe my other siblings) ?

…….what if I never go somewhere in life?

I am only 22 and people would still say that I am too young to worry about these kinds of things and that I have my whole life ahead of me. If that is the case, then why is my parents drilling down my neck about what I am suppose to do about my future as if that is what I would be doing for the rest of my life?

I told myself when I first entered university, its okay that I am doing something I was never interested in..that I was there to just get my degree and get out to get a good stable job so that I can earn money and actually go somewhere with my life. I dont know. I am scared. Really scared.

How come other people my age are allowed to not have everything figured out? 

…….sighs. Again, the joys of being in your twenties. 


I’m happy..sorta?



Its all good for here on out. I think its fine to have crushes. But when it comes down to the “right one”, I would know it. (I mean theres no harm in liking people and maybe …sorta hoping that they’d notice you?) 

But hey, Im good. I don’t get disappointed if they don’t notice me…i mean..its fine..its just a crush. 😀 


Anyway. I have tons of work. Wish me luck for my final year! 

This shit is for real.

Speaking from experiences, I am still in the process of learning to think before I speak. Sometimes, I tend to just speak my mind and I might not know how it can hurt other people’s feelings…especially if I think its okay to joke about it. 

I don’t know, maybe its just me being sensitive. 

But its okay. I only have to put up with it for one more year. 

be strong self!! 화이팅 디야나 !! 

밤새 I’m up all night to get my luck

Dear Blog,

Lately I have been feeling confused. I feel like theres more to life than this. Theres more to see than “here”. Theres more to live for then “this”. I am feeling confused and on my way to feeling unhappy.
I feel like I was born to do great things ( don’t we all feel this way from time to time? YES. But I’ve been feeling this way eversince I am able to think on my own..).

The problem is…where do I start?

What do I do?
Why do I feel like I am being held back from doing something that I was born to do?

I feel like theres something I am meant to be doing (or should already be doing) out there.
This place will forever be home but for now, I need to get out and really “find myself”.