The Future

Dear blog,

I hate not knowing what comes next. I hate it. I am afraid of what the future might bring….I mean if it brings me to the good side of life..then Alhamdulilah but what if it doesn’t?

What if I hate my job? What if I’m 30 years old and still unmarried? What if I have lost all my hopes and dreams for my future? What if I have no money and that I have to rely on my parents (and maybe my other siblings) ?

…….what if I never go somewhere in life?

I am only 22 and people would still say that I am too young to worry about these kinds of things and that I have my whole life ahead of me. If that is the case, then why is my parents drilling down my neck about what I am suppose to do about my future as if that is what I would be doing for the rest of my life?

I told myself when I first entered university, its okay that I am doing something I was never interested in..that I was there to just get my degree and get out to get a good stable job so that I can earn money and actually go somewhere with my life. I dont know. I am scared. Really scared.

How come other people my age are allowed to not have everything figured out? 

…….sighs. Again, the joys of being in your twenties. 


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