Feelings.

I cant see you
because it reminds me of the pain
because I have come too far to go back to that
it took me so long to pick the pieces up…and fix myself
i cant let you in..even if its just for closure.

…..i just cant.

2k15. I’ve come a long way since my first year in uni.

ahhh. Happy (belated) new year dear non-existent or ghost readers!!

I have made peace with a lot of things before the start of the new year. One of them is letting go of the mindset that everyone in the world is out to get me ( lol how ridiculous was I??)

Anyway. I like to think that I have come a long way since I started university in 2011. In the span of (almost) 4 years, I went through so much and now look at me…all “matured” and ready to graduate this coming September. ( ha ha ha)

THE FIRST THING I learned when entering university in 2011 is that nobody is going to be there for you. You have to learn how to pick up and carry your own weight. Not to say, nobody will be there for you in your times of need BUT……always remember, they will not be there all the time. Fast forward 2015, I am working hard to rely on myself more rather than depending on others.

I also learnt that not everyone is interested in your sob stories. Choose your friends wisely. Some are just interested for the gossip and then there are those special ones (bless these awesome people) who actually care about you…so choose who you open up to wisely.

Also, thinking “hes” the one…ummm NO. You can crush on someone but never ever ever ever ever ever ever for a second assume that they are the “one”. This “one” simply does not exist ( i have yet to be proven wrong though ) .

Be nice. Give yourself a break. Do not believe whatever people say about you. You know your own self as do your close friends. Those who believe in the rumours or what people say about you are clearly not your good friends. People talk, its inevitable (something I tell my bestfriend all the time) .

It is also okay to enjoy once in a while. Yes, the ending to these “fun times” may not be good but hey! this is the time to learn from your mistakes.

Be friends with everyone. It’s always nice to see familiar faces in class right? 🙂

2015, I will be done with my final semester this coming May. I have no regrets. I made mistakes but I learn from them.

2015, please be the year that I finally love myself.
Please be the year that I do not find fault in every potential relationship that comes my way (like i did last year… eugh. so bad so badddd)
Please be the year of more adventures.
Please be the year that I am able to welcome all the uncertainties in my life.

With that, I end this post. Goodnight.